Fear.

Everyone has fear and I'm not talking about fear of physical/tangible things. I'm talking about things like fear of failure, fear of looking foolish, fear that efforts will be inadequate... the list of possibilities is endless. A couple of days ago I read an old blog post written by a new friend titled "What If?" and I felt like she had looked into my mind of several years ago and wrote what she had seen in me. I felt like I had come so far from that person, but reading her words made me ask, "Have I really?"

Paralysis.

That is what fear did to me. I really wanted my art to be more abstract, but I was afraid that it wouldn't be good enough, that people wouldn't understand, that it would be an epic failure. So instead, I did nothing. Well... I thought about it. I thought about it so much that I felt I would burst if I didn't get it out of me and on the canvas. I mentally told myself, "you've never done something like this before so of course it's not going to be good on the first try," but I still couldn't move to express it. 

Challenged.

Finally, my mom had seen and heard enough! She said, "when I see you next week, I want to see an abstract painting" expressing How He Loves by David Crowder Band, a song that I was obsessed with at the time. It was very scary, but I'm the kind of person that can't back down from a challenge.

Even though it's not the best painting I've ever done, it did break open the door for my art to move in the direction I longed for and I've enjoyed every moment of running that path.

I still have times when I pause at the beginning of a new direction or idea and can feel that paralysis try to creep up on me, but then I remember that long ago challenge, lace up my figurative boots, and side kick that door in!

What fear held you back and how did you break through?